“I have been asked to write a few words about the team at Next Home – my folks have recently passed away leaving a hoose that they lived in for the majority of their married life. It would be fair to say that both of them were squirrels in a past life and acquired throughout their lives, loads and loads of what we shall kindly call ‘ stuff ‘ (other expletives are available) I only mention this, as this was not an easy sell for the team as it contained all of the original fittings (most of which will require replacing) and the usual anaglypta, dodgy wallpaper etc.

The first contact came from John who is the eye candy for the over 60’s (and that’s just the men) and noted for his dubious choice of haircuts and dashing dress sense.

John is the kind of person who, if he ever dies, god forbid, do not be surprised if the Pearly Gates happen to go missing some few days hence.

John informed me that his colleague Ashley would be coming to see me and inspect the house – It would not be fair of me to say that I remember much of what happened next as it was all rainbows and shiny things – try to imagine a 50’s movie star appearing on yer doorstep; movement was evident but more in the form of sashaying, an elegant mince if you will, as she crossed the threshold I do believe she was levitating.

We inspected the hoose and she offered some advice and counselling- taking Ash-bash outside is a risky affair as passing birds were simply swooning out of mid air and landing all around us. For fear of harming any more of the avian population we retreated inside.

A Home Report was ordered and the whole process was neither rushed nor in any way stressed. I would point out that at no time was cost ever talked about, or even mentioned – I was far too busy licking the windies to even notice, but it might be important to other folks.

If you ever phone the office, mostly you will be greeted by Hamish, a man who is not particularly fond of words, so he doesn’t waste them. Sounding like he has just stepped off the boat from some remote Hebridean atoll he is business like and devoid of flannel. Occasionally you might get what I am assured is the secretary and generally vague is her default setting. It’s really quite refreshing to talk to someone who makes it quite clear she does not know – and quite possibly doesn’t care. They do appear to have lots of meetings but they don’t last very long which can only be a good thing.

The Home visits by prospective punters are carried out mostly by the team although I did participate in a couple and found the whole experience rather exhilarating – the random nature of potential buyers and their backstories is intriguing and draws you in until you are fully invested in their history and exploits.

In a way, although it is only a hoose, it would be lovely to sell a property to someone that you like, although that is not always possible, and in the short time that you spend with them it is really hard not to become invested in their futures, especially this young couple who I was hoping would invite me to come and live with them, cause they were just lovely.

In walks Anna, its not how Anna reacts to people , more how people react to Anna ! She is a vision, unmistakable, vibrant and charming. As she approaches people, the atmosphere just appears to get warmer and they listen intently to what she has to say. She is striking in her appearance as she is merely a body attached to this magnificent mane of glorious hair (think of Cousin Itt , out of the Addams family, only blonde) It would be difficult for people to say what were more impressed with, the property or Anna? Seldom do you find someone more suited to what they do, and the ease she brings to this entire affair.

After each visit a report is sent detailing the potential buyers views and observations, which I found most helpful as it indicates where you are in the market in regard to pricing etc. In the end, the property sold in little to no time and I was absolutely delighted how it was all handled. (apart from the Home Report which is overpriced and in my humble opinion – useless!)

From the get-go it was a delight and a pleasure, all the team are cracking, and nothing is a bother. Special mention to Anna who deserves a fully paid fortnight’s vacation to a destination of her choosing anywhere in the world paid for by John, simply because he is so fortunate to have the only person on the planet who could cajole me into doing that Credas thing”